I'm Kings of the World!

Ross's accusation got me thinking...about myself, or at least people named like myself. So I did a little research and it seems there may be no field I, Anthony King, can go into that some other Anthony King hasn't already entered.

Sports? Anthony King is already playing hoops for the University of Miami. And he's a damn good rebounder.

Music? Anthony King is already a successful drummer who's played for a bunch of big names and "uses the Finest Hand Craft drums...with the Anthony King STELTH signature snares." He has signature snares!

Ok, so what about, oh, I don't know...Politics? Anthony King's done that too. He was elected the city sexton of Corpus Christi, TX, in May of 1890.

Construction? There's an Anthony King Builders.

And that's not all. Anthony King is also a webmaster, CTO , college professor, lieutenant, journalist, and even the namesake of a scholarship at the University of Ottawa.

But it's not just occupations. Anthony King is also concerned with social activism. And you know what? Anthony King has a point - you should be able to ride your bike through the drive-thru. Unless, of course, the person working the drive-thru is actually a robot.

But luckily this Anthony King, the one writing this right now, is not interested in being a webmaster or basketball player or any of these other things. And I don't even own a bike. I'm doing comedy! And I can prove it here. Surely there can't be another Anthony King doing comedy.

Well...check out this guy:

"King of the one-liners" Anthony King's devilishly droll deadpan humour, masterful timing and delivery combine to make him one of the most polished performers on the circuit today.

And The Scotsman says, "Outstanding is Anthony King, an elegantly mournful figure whose timing and delivery of a stream of one-liners and non-sequiteurs are masterly."

So I'm screwed on that too...at least in England. But here's the real kicker - none of these Anthony Kings are the Anthony King who owns the rights to www.anthonyking.com. That Anthony King lives in Hawaii and hasn't even bothered to actually put a site up - he's just hording the rights.

Of course, I'm not letting all of this get me down. Plans are already underway for the WE THREE ANTHONY KINGS Tour. Forty-five dollars gets you a ticket to see Anthony King in a high-flying slam-dunk exhibition. Then Anthony King rocks out on the drums while you dance and clap. And finally Anthony King makes you laugh with his apparently ridiculously hilarious deadpan one-liners.

I, Anthony King, will be, uh...I'll be taking tickets at the door.