Our God Is a Meaty God

Yesterday, I was smoking cocaine out of a baby's skull and playing Grand Theft Auto when I stumbled across a story about a deity I had never heard mentioned in all my time spent sitting in Protestant churches.

"Yea verily," thought I, "truly this is the Lord."

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

I know it seems silly, my sudden conversion. But as the Pastafarians say, "I have been touched by his noodly appendage."

I've spent the last 24 hours reading The Prophet, Bobby Henderson's, sacred letter. It holds the secret to a fulfilling life as well as very disturbing and irrefutable evidence that our society's wicked ways have brought us to the brink of disaster.

"Aaargh, we be doomed."

I fear for America.

I fear for our leaders.

I fear for that douchebag, Jesus.

THIS is the origin of man.

"Remember, we are all His creatures."

-Anthony King