Wiz Wit

I was in Philadephia Saturday night for a show at the Philadelphia Improv Festival.

We had a couple hours before our show, so we headed down to South Philly to gorge on officially sanctioned "philly cheesesteaks."

The two authentic (i.e. tourist-trap) steak places are Pat's King of Steaks and Geno's Steaks. They're right across the street from each other. So, of course, we had one of each.

Old School

Neon School

If anyone tries to tell you the cheesesteaks from these two places taste the same - they are either lying or they work for the much shittier Pat's Steaks.

Geno's cheesesteak was the best cheesesteak man could ever hope to create - slathered in cheese wiz, filled with deliciously-seasoned steak, and we got to eat it while watching two fourteen-year-old girls beat the shit out of each other down the sidewalk by the taco stand.

Pat's was a greasy, bland, bready waste of time and chewing, and provided no entertainment whatsoever (except for the couple in line ahead of us who after about twenty minutes of standing in line inexplicably jumped into a passing taxi and sped away. A mystery!).

Overall, it was a delicious adventure. But after eating at both of Philly's Hotspot Cheesesteak shops, I mostly just feel even more sad for these people:

Every Choice We Made Was Wrong