That Was Queasy

Office Depot has unveiled its new mascot to compete with Staple's Easy Button. It's a horrifying and disturbing creature - a man's hand that pops out of a box and grabs whatever is near it, or sometimes offers up something it has apparently been storing in its box.

The people in the commercial seem delighted by it but I'm pretty sure a sentient hand bursting out of a cardboard box is the stuff of horror films and cloning disasters, not office supplies.

You can see one of the spots here (I searched everywhere for an image of the abomination before God, but unlike pictures of a prolapsed colon - which I was able to find in abundance - the Internet has apparently not yet absorbed this horror.

Office Depot - I was not going to shop at one of your stores anyway (mostly because Staples is a few blocks away and I have no idea where an Office Depot is), but you would be advised to fire whatever hand model you hired to portray this monstrosity and instead invest in something like a big lever that makes office supplies fall out of the sky onto people's heads or, if you must use something vaguely human, hire Jared Leto, change his name to Joe, and adopt the slogan "Meet Joe Leto at the Depot!"

Those are horrible ideas, but unlike your current freak show, they will cause only a minor fight-or-flight response in your viewers.

"Wanna buy a pencil sharpener?"