I'm Scoutta Here!

They found that boy scout in NC who disappeared from a camping trip over the weekend. Turns out he didn't want to be camping so he figured he'd just walk into the woods and hitchhike home.

At first I was happy they found the boy alive, but after I read this article, I realized the boy is doomed anyway. He may have lived this week, but his asshole father will surely destroy him.

Check out these quotes from the boy's father:

"We're going to have our lectures about hitchhiking again," the father said. "We've had them in the past, but with a special vigor, we'll go over that again with Michael."

Ah yes - the ol' "hitchhiking lecture." But with "special vigor?" Dad's going for his belt.

"He's got a tremendous life spirit," the father said, adding that Michael "wants to thank Gandalf especially — even though he ate the peanut butter crackers they gave him."

Dad just couldn't resist taking a little swipe at Gandalf, the dog who saved his son's life. I agree, Kent! What a crapbag that dog is! How dare he find your son and then eat some crackers. Just because crackers are held near a dog's mouth doesn't mean the dog has to eat them.

"He's worried about make-up work in Miss Self's class," Auberry said. "So if Miss Self could cut him a break, he would be very, very grateful."

This is just really despicable. Everybody knows if you have a problem with Miss Self, you talk to Miss Self directly. Don't attack her through the media.

Hey Hero! Those crackers aren't for you!

Posted by Anthony King at March 21, 2007 11:17 AM