The Next Phase

I have some good news.

I got this e-mail today and...I just want to say that I am incredibly proud and excited to have finally accomplished this goal.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lesley [mailto:Lewis5@collahuasi.cl]
To: anthrax
Subject: Ship notification : Your Degree

How are you, anthrax?

Give us a call, Your Diploma is ready for delivery.

Later,
Lesley

I don't know who the hell Lesley is, but I'm excited to finally be a high school graduate - and to reclaim my old nickname.

My friend Chris Gethard also has good news, and it's actually REAL.

Chris's book is OUT at Barnes & Noble and other places where books are sold. It's a really cool book about folklore, legends, ghost, and other weird things from the state of New York.

"The absolute perfect book to read while defecating." - Anthony King

BUY IT!

Free-Style

I found a skateboard in the trash!

I was coming out of the theatre late last night and had a piece of paper to throw away (it was the first page of my novel - so aggravating! I just can't figure out the exact right way to draw the audience into the alien world of Speldnor Seven.)

Anyway, my small detour led me to a trashcan with a perfectly good skateboard sitting in it. Which led me to the question: Why would anyone throw away a perfectly good skateboard?

I like to imagine some guy had just attempted a backside ollie followed by a stalefish grab - barley grind - crail slide triple with a little Andrecht invert thrown in for kicks (thank you Wikipedia) and failed miserably.

Then, sitting on the sidewalk, his board on its side by his feet, he cradled his bruised elbow and said out loud, "Is this really what I'm doing with my life? I'm 45-years-old." And he stood up, threw his board in the trash, and walked into his destiny.

That man?

Hugo Weaving

Wiz Wit

I was in Philadephia Saturday night for a show at the Philadelphia Improv Festival.

We had a couple hours before our show, so we headed down to South Philly to gorge on officially sanctioned "philly cheesesteaks."

The two authentic (i.e. tourist-trap) steak places are Pat's King of Steaks and Geno's Steaks. They're right across the street from each other. So, of course, we had one of each.

Old School

Neon School

If anyone tries to tell you the cheesesteaks from these two places taste the same - they are either lying or they work for the much shittier Pat's Steaks.

Geno's cheesesteak was the best cheesesteak man could ever hope to create - slathered in cheese wiz, filled with deliciously-seasoned steak, and we got to eat it while watching two fourteen-year-old girls beat the shit out of each other down the sidewalk by the taco stand.

Pat's was a greasy, bland, bready waste of time and chewing, and provided no entertainment whatsoever (except for the couple in line ahead of us who after about twenty minutes of standing in line inexplicably jumped into a passing taxi and sped away. A mystery!).

Overall, it was a delicious adventure. But after eating at both of Philly's Hotspot Cheesesteak shops, I mostly just feel even more sad for these people:

Every Choice We Made Was Wrong