Heroes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Another Hero has been found.

Steven Johnson, 13 years old, was struck by 7,200 volts of electricity this week - and survived.

According to Seattle, Washington TV station, KOMO-TV:

It should have killed him. 7,200 volts of electricity zapped an Auburn teenager. Now Steven Johnson is telling his remarkable tale of survival.

Saturday morning, Steven Johnson was with his father Jeff, at his grandparents. A tree had knocked out power, and though crews had restored the electricity, there was still a line dangling from the pole in front.

Steven inadvertently backed into it. "It picked me up and I looked down and I saw a blue outline around my feet," he said.

Jeff rushed his son to the hospital, where they confirmed his miraculous escape. Aside from burn holes in his hip and feet, he's fine. "God spared me." And Steven laughs when he tells us his new nickname: "Sparky"

That's a pretty cut-and-dry origin story. And while "Sparky" is not the most awe-inspiring hero name, it's definitely better than "Steven Johnson."

Sparky's gotta lose those braces though.

Save The Dolphin, Save The World

Like an episode right out of "Heroes" on NBC, the world's tallest man saved two dolphins yesterday by reaching into their stomachs with his 41.7-inch arms and pulling out some plastic they shouldn't have eaten.

According to the AP, "Bao Xishun, 54, was confirmed last year by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's tallest living man." He's 7'8" tall.

Which made me wonder - who else is on the list?

Well, Leonid Stadnyk is. In fact, he's even taller than Bao. He's 8'4" tall. And yet - there's controversy. Stadnyk refuses to be measured by Guinness!

From wikipedia:

Guinness commented:
"Leonid Stadnik refuses to be measured by us. We have been told that it is because he doesn't want to court publicity — yet he continues to claim to be the tallest. Unfortunately we can only conclude due to previous experience, that he refuses to be measured officially by us because he is not the height he claims to be.

Them's fighting words. And what does Stadnik have to say?

This is my punishment from God. What sin I have committed, I do not know. All my life I have dreamed of being just like everyone else. My height is my curse.

So Bao Xishun, the officially declared world's tallest man, uses his power to save dolphins. And Leonid Stadnik, who is actually unofficially taller than Bao, is a bitter giant looking for revenge on God.

Perfectly Suited

I just found the nerdiest website on the Internet:

It's a website that details Jay Maynard's quest to make an authentic Tron costume. And it has amazing "Before" and "After" photos like these:

Check out that moose toe!

Tron Guys

NOTE: Uh-oh. I just did a google search on Jay and apparently I'm way behind on this one. According to Wikipedia, he was on Jimmy Kimmel a few times in 2004. So I guess his fifteen minutes are over. Though who knows - maybe he can grab a little more spotlight in 2007 - the 25th Anniversary of Tron!

Linds"AA" Lohan

I have been thinking a lot about the news reports that Lindsay Lohan, age 20, recently announced she has been attending AA meetings for a year.

It hurts to know that America's Little Parent Trap needs AA before she's even legally allowed to drink. But - and this may surprise you - Lindsay says her problem is not the clubbing and vagina-flashing. Oh no. She says, "I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home."

But while I often lie restless in my bed worried sick about my sweet, sweet star of "Herbie: Fully Loaded," I can't help but think about the other alcoholics in her AA meetings. Men and women who obviously know Lindsay (and therefore love her!), and so they must suffer having their pictures taken by paparazzi as they leave the meetings each week.

That meeting cannot be very "Anonymous."

So - I checked out the Alcoholics Anonymous website to see what their policies are on anonymity. I was pretty shocked to find out they apparently don't care about the second "A" in their name at all.

This is the picture that greets you on their homepage:

It's gotta be pretty tough to be anonymous when you're the only guy in a wheelchair.

The Fat Boys are...Disorderlies

Kate and I watched this documentary last night.

I was eating cookies.

We Eat Reviews

The reviews are starting to come in for the Off-Broadway production of GUTENBERG! THE MUSICAL!

The NY TIMES review is a bizarrely-crafted rave that is probably very confusing to anyone who has not seen the show.

Money quotes:

"GUTENBERG! is a smashing success!"

"Who knew that a musical about the life of the inventor of the printing press could have so many laughs?"

"Scott Brown and Anthony King are superb comic writers."

The AP Review is also a rave and much easier to follow.

Money quotes:

"GUTENBERG! is hysterically funny!"

"Writers Anthony King and Scott Brown produced an uproarious script — plenty twisted and just culture-conscious enough, so the show doesn't strangle itself with hipness."

The Variety review is also great! With a nice, typical, Variety business slant.

Money quotes:

"'Gutenberg! The Musical!' is one hell of a goofy evening."

"Gutenberg, the original, was a goldsmith by trade. Handled wisely, "Gutenberg! The Musical!" could be a multiproduction gold mine."

Village Voice too!

Money quotes:

"A hilarious and immensely satisfying jolt of musical-theater schadenfreude."

"Much like The Producers' Max and Leo, who wonder where they went wrong when their "bomb" musical becomes a hit, each of Bud and Doug's wrong turns become delicious comic successes."

A few websites got in on the act as well. Talkin' Broadway.com is also a rave.

Money quotes:

"GUTENBERG! is so bloody good!"

"Fresher, more vibrant, and more truthful than most of what you see on Broadway today."

"A show that leaves you bruised, battered, and (in some cases) incapacitated by the funniest jokes in any musical of 2006."

And then, of course, the inevitable delicious pan - courtesy of Theatermania.com

Money quote:

"And don't convince yourself that framing a send-up of deficient shows as a backers audition is the latest in clever premises. It's been done before -- and done and done. I encountered the idea 38 years ago when Leonard Sillman offered New Faces of 1968 in a stylized stage interpretation of his luxurious East 72nd Street flat. And even the flamboyant Sillman may not have been the first to come up with the conceit."

I feel silly having even dared to think I could ever compete with the flamboyant Sillman.